Fathers - *husbands, boyfriends, etc*

Well, this is the first child of my man (and he never has had a child previously), always had miscarriages with another woman he was married to, but successfully our experience is going well so far as we know of.

Though-- he's a laid back type of guy-- he worries ALOT (though he will not express it), he's the type to keep quiet or won't say anything until you ask how he's feeling. Just probably the norm guy thing? Keeping hush hush about his feelings as a man... though some women have the open type men which are like women and will talk about anything, though my man is just not like that. He is in the majority of all men- quiet, reserved, but will say something if you talk to him and is very friendly (not anti-social), and will talk to you. He has a great sense of humor...

As I stated previously-- worrying-- he does worry,even though sometimes he doesn't express the worried until asked...

His current worries is getting a 2nd full-time job just to support the child on the way and myself, since I'm waiting on a disability case currently. He's just worrying non-stop and also going thru the cleaning stage I'm also going thru. They say this is man's having sympathy for feelings? Is it his father instincts? What is this? He never was a clean freak before!!!

Did any of your men change a little bit and have a bit of a hormonal thing (mood swings) and start a cleaning phase or just all of sudden do something different or go on a worry? He wants to be a great father (and I know he will), but I just don't want him to begin worrying like I do! Does anyone else's men do this? Worry non-stop? And sometimes you just tihnk the ideas or worries are bizarre or don't make sense? Just wanting your thoughts on the men !!!

I love my man!!!

My hubby didn't go thru the cleaning thing... I wish he did. BUT, he had the mood swings, weird cravings, and the morning sickness.

My man has gotten sick too, but I just thought it was him? haha! So its all cool and as for cravings??? Hmm... Never really was attentive to this, but I'll look out for it!! Observations! haha

ya.. he's a cool guy.. really laid back..


What about after pregnancy? What were father's worries?? Just wondering the basics of how your guy reacted to pregnancy, child rearing, etc? How is the fathers doing?

a lot of guys are scared of the baby after they see how tiny they are. reassure him that she wont break. they are not as fragile as they appear to be.

i am not os sure what guys worry bout as far as the baby. Jim didnt really tell me what he was worried about or anything. he has been really good with the babes though. he is def a good daddy...a lot better than some i have seen...lol

if he is not one to tell you how he feels until you ask make sure you ask him a lot when the baby comes...that way you two can work through what ever fears and worries you might both have together. it will make you a stronger team.

hope you are having a good day

Think most men worry about the typical will I break them? can I handle the delivery?, will everything go smooth will there be any complications? an I think any man young or old just try to figure out were they fit at in the equation now that its not just you and him will there still be time just for you to.? But I think now that I am in my late thirties and my new husband is in his 40 (he has no biological children he did adopt my daughter after her father passed and we married) I think the things you think about change you think more along the lines of security all around (I don’t ever think you can ever rely afford a child) you think of your health whether you will see them merry or graduate or if you can remain active with them.
I am sure you have already heard this may even have it but take a look at the book what to expect when you are expecting I think now there may even be a version for new and expectant fathers. I think the best you could do is just keep talking to him and reassuring him he will make a great father. An get plenty of sleep now.

Break? That's funny!!! I'm sitting here laughing my butt off! haha! A cooler term to use I guess.. about to fall on the floor. Laughter is good for all.. hehe!

Well, I think he is the total opposite- some of his things he talks about with previous children kinda scares me like-- I'll toughen her up!! We will wrestle, play football, and even swing her upside down and near the couch and I'm sitting here looking at my family thinking *that scary Mother look*... He talks about being rough and all I sit here thinking is God-- don't break a bone in her body - that's all we need is a big hospital bill. He tells me she won't fall on her head while playing rough with her when she's a baby and I'm sitting here screaming inside of myself!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHH! LOL...

Men are men!! They think *oh its okay to be rough*, but of course he knows she has to be a little older for that stuff, but it still worries me. As a mother, I sit here worrying, *omg, she's gonna fall on her head* that kinda role in the beginning of my middle pregnancy. hahahaha! I know she needs some roughness- still worries me though. Men are more laid back about roughness, so I think?


He's a pretty cool guy. We both get overwhelmed sometimes and we both talked about giving each other a break when we feel like exploding or get to that point (and one of us taking her while the other goes in another room to relax or calm down). We've also talked about if we both get overwhelmed- and have discussed with my mother that we will pay her to watch her (though my mother never expects money or will take money). So we will just have to buy her a movie or something. My mother toward the beginning said she wouldn't watch our child because of being burned out over my sister's two girls, and that really hurt a lot, but after awhile, her ways changed and now she won't stop buying stuff!! Kinda makes me upset, but I know I should be just thankful she does this because his parents don't care ever since they adopted him and later discovered they could have their own kids when they were told his adopted mom never could have kids. Pretty sad they never emailed us back about the pregnancy. I think he's a little hurt by it, but he won't admit it and I know he is happy about my parents being very supportive in it all - which is a big help on his stress, but it sometimes makes me feel bad that my parents are supportive and his parents want no contact with him whatsoever. I asked my father why parents would do such a thing and all my dad says "well, he's adopted." And I said back while my man was working at work (I had this conversation). "Well, why do they do that though? Its not fair." My dad said again, "well, he is adopted like I said." My father continued, "some people are just like that in this world.. if its not blood, they think differently." I almost cried, "but why would they adopt a child and then after having their own kids brush him off to the side?"

I talked to his previous wife and people that knew him ever since 18 and they told me "you don't want to meet his parents." ... I asked "why?," trying to be friendly and they gave me a mouthful of information on how his parents are wealthy, greedy, and selfish and that they aren't the type of people you'd want to meet. I know its their grandchild and I try to have respect for people I've never heard an email response from, not even a phone call, and so forth (because I love him) and I don't want him to feel like I'm putting his parents down, but at times he is so angry he tells me, "I don't want anything to do with them. I'm better off without them." It just hurts to hear those words-- he is so wise beyond his years, becoming strong from it all, but at times he has so much anger, it makes me feel so hurt his parents did this to him. I'm not sure how your men were raise, but one lady mentioned that the man adopted the daughter on here (that was very nice) and I'm sure he is the type not to change views over a blood line and that's great. My man is so happy for this child and I think starting a family will better his own life and he knows, he has a lot of ways he won't do his parenting like his parents did, but some roles his parents did he does agree with that he mentioned (which I agreed it was okay), though he knows if Gracee (our daughter on way) ever needs anyone to talk to or be there for her, he will not brush her off or to the side, as he knows he didn't like it growing up in his own life, so one time when arguing I said, "you promise not to leave me." And he responded, "I'll never (censored) leave my daughter. I know what it (censored) feels like," while angry. I dropped it at that. I know he will be a great father and with worrying- he is already a great father, but I keep hugging him daily to remind him I'm here if he needs anything as well.

Just a little rambling!!! Sorry everyone!!

Never apologies for rambling or sharing your story.
1. It may make you feel better.
2. I am a strong believer in questions and sharing your knowledge leads to answer, answers are power.
I agree with you I cant understand parents like your mans, I worked in a group home in Boston, there are so many people with similar stories, for one reason or another there parents just wont nothing to do with them . It just makes me mad.
But for me I guess I look at it they are the ones that are missing out on all the great things your family has to offer.
Hope every one has a great day

Unfortunately, it is them missing out, and that lays on their hands, not ours. Its difficult at times though. We went to a movie theatre a week or so ago and saw the movie This Christmas (not as good as we expected and not a watch my man or I could ever see again). Well, in the movie, the family said, "we're a family- we stick together." I didn't know this hurt him at the time of the movie and if he would have told me it hurt him to hear that- we would have walked out. He told me when we got home that, that statement had hurt him and that "where is his (censored) family? If family sticks together, where is mine?" I didn't know what to say to this, such a strong anger coming out, so all I responded was, "we have our family now." I felt so stupid for the response I gave him, but he responded, "atleast I have my family and I know what I can do differently." As for this, he means he would never abandon his own because of the life he's had to live and it has been very hard on him. It's made him stronger, but sometimes it breaks my heart to even have my family care and not his. If I could have one Christmas wish, perhaps it would be they would care and start showing it to him? But - they should have did that a LONG time ago!!! I doubt that wish would ever come true. Maybe prayers is the best option?

If it isn't too personal to ask - (you don't have to go into details), how was everyone's man's life growing up? From his life growing up and the life he has now- is it a big difference? As all can see- ours is a big difference.